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SFHS Academy Brief
December 2009
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Welcome to St.
Francis Health Service’s Supervision I alumni
newsletter.
Giving
Feedback to Sensitive People
We
all need feedback from others in order to grow, but some
people are so sensitive, you can't even smile without
them taking it the wrong way! They can get defensive,
emotional, quiet, and some will accuse you of unfairly
picking on them. Their reactions can become so
uncomfortable that you start to avoid giving them
feedback - and that's a big mistake. If you do, the
sensitive person quickly learns that all it takes is a
little display of emotion to get out of feedback
sessions. In the end, no one benefits.
Here are some tips for giving feedback to
sensitive people:
Say it in person and in
writing. Meeting
in person gives you the opportunity to answer questions
and check for misinterpretations before they become
overwhelming. Written feedback reinforces your intent,
especially if the sensitive person tends to twist your
words and meaning. Avoid email as your only form of
communication! There are too many opportunities for
misunderstandings.
Ask for
clarification. Ask employees to repeat the
feedback in their own words to make sure they understand
your meaning. If they heard something vastly different
than you intended (which often happens with sensitive
people) clarify before you move
on.
Plan extra
time. Giving feedback
to an especially sensitive person can take more time
than you think. Make sure you plan ahead so that you're
not rushing, otherwise the person becomes overwhelmed,
and you can become irritated due to other time
commitments.
Focus
on future behavior.
The
purpose of feedback is to influence future behavior; no
one can change the past. Focus your comments only on
observable behavior, not personality judgments like
"You're too sensitive." Detail how the person can change
to improve the next
time.
Give
small doses, more frequently.
Rather
than holding mega feedback sessions, meet more
frequently, sharing one or two small items at a time.
This gives a sensitive person time to digest what you've
said, make any necessary changes, and build
confidence.
Share
positives.
Feedback
is not only corrective, but also positive! If the only
time you ask to speak to an employee is to share what's
wrong, you train people to dread your call. Instead,
hold some sessions in which the only thing you do is
offer praise.
Ride
the emotions. If an employee
becomes emotional during a feedback session, you may
need to take a short break. But, it's important to
continue your meeting. So, if someone begins to get
angry or cry, stop. Ask if the person would like five
minutes to calm down, and then resume. If it happens
again in the same meeting, follow the same procedure.
Eventually the person learns that even though feedback
may be difficult to hear, it's necessary and
required.
Check
yourself.
If
you tend to avoid sensitive people, it might be helpful
to check your own emotions. What makes you
uncomfortable? How does avoiding certain people or
topics affect your relationships? How might you benefit
by learning to handle sensitive people
better?
Source:
Fee, S. (2005, October). Giving feedback to sensitive
people. Manager's tipsheet. Communication Tipsheet.
Retrieved August 20, 2008, from http://www.susanfee.com
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| Quote of the day:
“There
is no failure; only feedback.” - Robert
Allen |
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St.
Francis Health Services
801
Nevada Ave. Suite 100 • Morris, MN 56267
Phone:
320-589-4903 • Fax: 320-589-1270
www.sfhs.org | from: Leah
Nelson | | |